Hey Dad! Thanks for your e-mail. Man, watching conference brought back SO MANY MEMORIES. Memories of feeling the Spirit, of being Spiritually fed, and then physically fed afterwards with an Easter dinner. I really don't think there are better memories than that. I was thinking about it though, and the past few years I haven't felt those feelings. Ive been pretty closed spiritual wise, my heart was hardened through disbelief. I loved the talk on faith given by an Elder in the seventy. I cant remember his name. He said that we choose a life of faith. I already knew that, but it hit me again. I loved his description of the 6 destructive d's. I have fallen into those of Satan's traps many times. I really liked how he said that these 6 destructive d's are habits, and we can change them. It takes discipline and effort to live a faith oriented life. I think in High School and in younger life I was surrounded by people that either had my beliefs, or didn't challenge or try to disprove my beliefs. Once I started reading that book about Joseph Smith, the Rough Stone Rolling, I started to realize that life isn't perfect. There are questions that I, nor anyone else, can answer. And they probably won't be answered. I have learned that there are an endless number of questions and doubts trying to destroy my faith. I have looked around me and seen unbelief and hypocrisy and bad things. There are and have been people who are born into life only to suffer and die. Life is crap for a'lot of people. But I was thinking about the plan of salvation and how this life is a tiny, minuscule part of what we are going to experience after. And, the Savior died to help these kind of people. Basically I came to understand that not everyone knows what I know, and that for some people, God doesn't exist. For some people, Thomas S. Monson is a fraud, not a prophet. I started to look at life from their point of view. What if... I started to wonder if God was only in my mind. Because a person that strongly believes in God can stand next to a person that doesn't believe in God. Both have their beliefs, and in their minds, they are both right. If you don't believe in God, He doesn't exist. God knows that, that's why He's commanded us to have faith. Faith is the great key to unlock blessings from heaven, mainly the Spirit. Some may say Faith is the thing religious leaders use to blind the people. But it is more than just believing. It is a key, a key that God has ordained as the first principle of the everlasting gospel of salvation. In that conference talk, he said that to have faith is more than just recognizing that it is a principle of the gospel. WE HAVE TO CHOOSE. Sometimes I think about people and how some peoples hearts are hardened through bad experiences in life, and I think it unfair that they should reject God because their hearts are hardened because of things they couldn't control. But I also look at Alyssa and Daniel, and Laman and Lemuel. Raised by righteous parents, but have hardened their hearts for one reason or another. We have our agency. We have the power to CHOOSE. It is just as simple as President Monson put it: DOUBT AND FAITH CANNOT EXIST IN THE SAME MIND. Also he said that your future is as bright as your faith. It really is in our mind, in our spirit, in our outlook in life. But only by having faith, and unlocking that spiritual door, can we receive the Spirit of Truth. I was thinking about how liberal God is with the Spirit of Truth. Many nonmembers and people that don't know about Jesus Christ experience what it feels like when they recognize truth. Love, peace, tranquility all testify of truth. When Man serves other Man, he feels good. This is truth. When a man and woman are married and work together, they feel good and love each other. This is truth. God testifies of truth to all of us. Emotion, feelings are tools that the Spirit uses to teach us and help us recognize truth. I remember going to counseling with Floyd a lot, and feeling the same feeling after a session with him that I felt after a sacrament meeting. Emotional healing is truth, and the Spirit helps us recognize truth. If we open our hearts to God, to Christ, we can truly recognize truth in ALL things as Moroni promised. Opening our hearts, having faith, is essential to receiving the spirit of truth. We have to open our hearts in every situation. I remember sitting in conference and thinking in my mind, I literally have the choice to accept this man as a prophet, or as just a good man. When we choose to open our hearts and accept things as they really are, that's when we receive a testimony. I love the quote that testimony is to feel and know, conversion is to do and become. We aren't always going to have those powerful spiritual feelings. That is why we remember and do, and become. And we don't question what we've already felt and recognized as truth. It is a cycle. Basically I've recognized that the Spirit as the tool that God has given us to find truth. To receive it is our choice. It is simple, but difficult at the same time. I really like how the Brethren answer doubts and questions. President Uchtdorf said that the gospel isn't just someone's best guess at the meaning of ancient scriptures, or the meaning of life. It is truth revealed from the Creator of the universe.
I've tried to understand God sometimes in my life. You just can't without the help of the Spirit. The Spirit helps us understand the mysteries, and at the same time quiets doubts that we are going to understand, but not in this life. Humility, faith.
Thanks Dad for everything. You are a wonderful man and a righteous priesthood holder. You have the right to worthily hold a name and standing in the House of the Lord. Thanks for all you do and have ever done. Love Russell
Elder West
